Funny Email

You know how it's so entertaining to go your old things? Well, today, I was looking at some old emails and they totally cracked me up. So, I decided to share one conversation.


SUBJECT: Aw! Last Year Photos (When I was still in Yearbook) - sent by Ebooks


Ebooks: Look at [(name)] ! He's adorable! Can't believe that was only last year!
              And here's a picture of [Porcupine]!

Porcupine: You were in yearbook last year? Wow, I never noticed.

Ebooks: Seriously? So was [Underground Rainbow]!

Pretty Horse: So was I!
                      lol

Ebooks: I know, but you're still in Yearbook, so it doesn't count.

Porcupine: [Pretty Horse] still is, but that's not the problem. [Dolphin] is by far the most annoying. SOMEONE  TELL HER TO STOP SHAKING MY ARM, STOP TELLING ME TO SEE HER POWERPOINT OF PICTURES, AND STOP POKING ME.

Ebooks: I don't know what you're talking about.

Pretty Horse: I do... ;-)

Ebooks: Of course you do! You're actually in the class!!

Dolphin: [Porcupine]! Seriously? You know I can see that, right? So are so mean. Oh! My poor heart.

Porcupine: [Dolphin] can tell you everything.

Ebooks: [Dolphin] says: Humph. [Porcupine], you ARE going to pay for saying all those mean things. First of all, my PowerPoint is amazing! You shouldn't have the impression that I'm trying to torture you with it-because I'm not. Second of all, shaking your arm is harmless. It shouldn't even hurt! It's your fault that your body thinks it hurts! Not mine! Also that weird shade of red that your face turned into was either tomato red or as pink as [Ebooks'] old jacket/Coates kind of cool. Third of all, I have NEVER poked you. Or maybe I have , but I forgot.

She pressed the reply only to me. Don't know why she does that.

Pretty Horse: And what does me being in Yearbook/Journalism have to do with me knowing why [Dolphin] keeps shaking [Porcupine's] arm, [Ebooks]? Besides, it was at lunchtime when [Dolphin] told me the secret of desire to shake [Porcupine's] arm.

Ebooks: Whatever.

Underground Rainbow: Hey [Dolphin], what's your last name?

Ebooks: [(last name)]

Underground Rainbow: [Porcupine], don't you DARE call me [name's] sister ever again.

Ebooks: Yeah. Call her [(boy name)]. It's a pun, since her real name is [(name)], and I gave her a boy name. Just say it like [(name)], except say [(boy name)].

Underground Rainbow: [EBOOKS]!! shut up

Ebooks: ...
              Hi [Underground Rainbow]. (note: sometimes we say hi multiple times to Underground Rainbow and it annoys her.)

Underground Rainbow: Everyone, call her [ebooks (pet)]. It's a [(something kind of embarrassing)].

Ebooks: Sure. Do whatever you want. I won't judge. It doesn't even effect me.

Dolphin: I never told you anything about the secret desire of shaking [Porcupine's] arm! I just had a little sugar buzz! I shake people's arms when I have sugar buzzes! and [Porcupine] is fun to shake. And his face turns a nice shade of magenta.

Pretty Horse: I know...

Dolphin: Yes, so don't say that!

Pretty Horse: But you were just hyper and wanted to shake someone's arm, so you started shaking mine. Then, I told you to do that to [Porcupine] instead, and so you did.

Dolphin: It still didn't have anything about me telling you about the "secret" desire to shake [Porcupine's] arm.

(end of conversation)

I am the Hermit

I am the Hermit. It's who I am, but you may not know why. It all started in kindergarten; on the first day of school. I was what you'd say...different. I looked different than the other kids. My skin had flaws, which made the other kids ask, "What is that?" After that, I learned to appreciate personal space. That's why I'm claustrophobic and I don't like it when other people stand too close to me.

I eventually made friends, but during the middle of kindergarten. My parents used to push me to make friends, which made me not want to have any. By first grade, I was in a class without my friends. Two of the five of us, moved away, and that just left the three of us. My other two friends were in the same class, which left me alone. It wasn't too bad, some people talked to me, and I guess it was okay. But by then, my "friends" stopped talking to me, playing with me at recess, and made promises they never kept, which is why I'm not very open with people. I was alone for most of my school life. I made another friend, but she was bossy and no one really liked her. We eventually got into a fight and stopped being friends. I was all alone again.

By second grade, I had made some friends. Everything was going well, until they said they needed a break from me. I don't even get why they would say something like that, but they did. So we took a break. And I was alone again. One day, I was talking to some "popular" people, and my friends (the second group) wanted to be friends again, but by then, it was the end of the year.

The next year, I moved to a different school. I thought it could be a fresh start, but old habits stay. I was still the shy, quiet girl. My tormented years made me quiet, shy, and I always look down. I don't want people looking directly at my face. But I learned that I shouldn't judge people, like they did to me, and I learned to keep secrets for people, but then again, I don't share any of my secrets. After I transferred schools, I made a friend, and she has been my friend to this very day.

My Friend the Hermit

          I  have a friend who I will call Underground Rainbow. She is a good friend, I believe, but am I a good friend to her? This is a question that greatly troubles me. Perhaps you will not understand, but nevertheless, please try to.
          Underground Rainbow is a quiet, shy girl. She doesn't talk much, not even with her so-called friends. To me, it feels like she isn't a close friend, she's almost like a close school friend. You know, a classmate. A close one nevertheless, but a classmate all the same.
          My friend is quite the loner. At lunch, she eats, but she doesn't talk. It's unusual for girls of our age to remain silent. She doesn't really do much; if there is a test, then she asks us to quiz her and she snorts at our stories and jokes, but she doesn't offer anything about herself in return. She's told me stories about her holidays, but not her. She has always been unreachable.
           I remember a long time ago in elementary school that she was just in the same grade as me, nothing more. We hadn't really become friends; we were just aware of each other the way classmates are. Together with another group of students, we transferred to a different school. I knew what she looked like, but I didn't know what she was like. But then, it did not irk me, as we were put in different classes and I did not much care for others. The selfishness of youth, an author once quoted.
           Then came middle school. At first, she went to a different middle school, but then she suddenly changed. I became her tour guide, since we had many similar classes. It was strange, but I didn't care. Not yet, anyway.
            I don't remember what exactly happened, but it seems that Underground Rainbow  brought Ebooks and I together and we gradually became best friends, leaving Underground Rainbow  as the third wheel. We didn't mean to, but I sadly don't think I could've stopped that.
            Perhaps I am exaggerating. I do know her, but there is still a wall. Besides our similar interests, we don't have the same sense of humor, I am more outgoing and sassy than her, and to put it simply, we just don't click. Ebooks and I are like two peas in a pod; regrettably there is no room for a third.
            There. I have poured out some of my most personal thoughts that I would like to share. After that last paragraph, I feel like I am wallowing in self-pity. However, it feels more like guilt and helplessness; I should be a better friend, but how was I to be a real friend to her if she couldn't open up? How could I be better?
            All of this venting was because Underground Rainbow  apparently had to leave in last period and I didn't even realize that she was gone!! She just disappeared!! Sure, I was socializing, but how come she didn't tell me?! It hurt.
            The only thing I know about her is that she would make a great hermit.